I've Become a Statistic!

Friday afternoon I got what was probably the most unusual phone call of my life. A woman who identified herself as being with the  Sacramento Center for Disease Control called and said based on test results from my stay in the hospital, she needed to ask me some follow up questions, the first being "Have you recently been around any pregnant or birthing goats?" HUH?!

It turns out one of the tests was positive for Q Fever (I have no idea if this is somehow related to the odd recurring character on Star Trek: The Next Generation). It is transmitted through contact with animals, especially pregnant ones (she also asked if any of our rabbits were pregnant). My first question for her was why was she telling me that a test came back positive but my doctor said everything was negative. Well, it turns out that these tests aren't like asking "Is this paper blank or does it have writing on it?" They are more like "When I need to do the dishes, there are often dishes scattered around the house where I left them. I'll check a couple of rooms and if I don't see any dishes, I probably don't need to do the dishes." That is, the tests are for signs of different symptoms that may (or may not) indicate various illnesses. Thus, she needed to follow up on a positive test for Q Fever, since it is required by law to be reported to the CDC, but the doctor had probably seen something else that ruled it out (but she said I should let him know that it would probably be a good idea to do a follow up test).

This method of testing also explains why that, although the blood marrow they extracted didn't show any signs of malignancy, they still want to do a biopsy of my lymph glands, with the current question being "Can we do it with a needle and cat scan as an out patient or do we need to go in surgically and extract the sample?" Yes, the fun just never stops. 

The good news is, Q Fever is treatable (but may develop into a long term infection, still treatable, but a major disruption to one's life) and that this test (A simple blood draw on my part. Good lord, I'm starting to feel like I'm stuck in a teenage vampire movie. Last time I saw the doc he ordered another 12 vials drawn to check for Lupus) should be done before they go forward with the lymph biopsy. In addition, I had a good day so far today (in spite of the US being knocked out of the World Cup). 

So, a little more on the inner side of this journey. Early on, during one of my 3:00 am wrestling with a fever sessions, I started asking, "What is the lesson in all this?" The answer that came (and continues to come) is "Let go, give in, surrender, all will become clear in the fullness of time." While I find it hard at times to follow this, there is not a lot else I can (or feel I need to) do. There is no diagnosis to rail against, no enemy to fight. I find myself surrounded by loving friends and family all praying and pulling for me. At last count I was being held in the prayers and thoughts of two Bible study groups, a Healing Touch group, a Native American Healing Circle, a Eucharist Community, and countless  individuals. I've been prayed over, ministered to, chanted around, anointed, and sent some wonderful cards. Far from feeling despair that nothing has "worked," I feel joy and great gratitude at the outpouring of care and concern from you all. Kahlil Gibran once wrote that "Sorrow carves the cup that holds our joy." I have come to see something of the same in that illness clears our eyes of the ordinariness of life. When in the hospital I was moved to tears by the sight on a screen of my heart beating in real time. I was struck how God had formed and placed one of these in each of us and set it the task to selflessly beat day and night to give us the gift of life. And what was more, at least from the angle that I was looking at, the valves, opening and closing together in rhythm, seemed to be a bird or butterfly constantly in flight in my chest.

Enough said for now. Please feel free to leave comments below. On a more practical note, my email is currently broken, so if you have written to me recently I may not have received it or, at least, am unable to reply. This should be cleared up on Monday. Also, if you follow rss feeds, there should be a tag somewhere on this page (maybe in the address bar?) where you can subscribe to this blog and it will let you know when I've posted something new. Finally, you may not have notices, but the video posts below are three years old. That is NOT what I'm doing at home right now.